Dear Yuu
by 0 me myself and I 0
Summary: When Allen finally fell, He fell for Yuu... I couldn't think off a better summarie. Yullen. And a one day late Valentines story.
1. Dear Yuu

**This was also inspired because of my friend. Most of whats was on the first chapter was a letter he gave to me before he died. R.I.P Austin. I made it have a happy ending though because I was his Yuu and never knew it.**

Dear Yuu, this is something for you.

It was February The only thing exciting about the month was the kitten on my calendar that reminder me of Orange juice. Today to be exact was the fourteenth, valentines day. Everyone was happy and celebrating but as for me I sat alone in my dark room writing these very words in my notebook.

Maybe it was the weather or the depression or both, but I didnt want to leave this room. I wanted to stay there forever and hope that everyone had forgotten about me. Ive always deeply desired to be forgotten. To be erased from everything in my DNA to every memory anyone had of me, all gone.

Then if they did forget I could become Neah Walker instead of Allen. Neah Walker they would know me as forever. I would tell them I was seven teen and dress as non-homeless as I could. I would lie every time someone turned to me read to face what I was and ask me were and what I was doing. I would say I was running an errand for my parents.

Yet this man I wanted to be was nothing. He had no parents, not even a warm house to come home to. He would be nothing. He would want no one to care. There would be no cracks in his well developed mask. This was the one thing that would make him happy.

This person inside my mind is everything I want to be and everything I will never become. Without me everything would be better. Lavi and Lenalee wouldnt be driving over here to meet me. They wouldnt care. They'd keep on driving till they found your house, there they would stop, walk to you door and call out to you. You'd see them and smile inside hiding what true happiness was left inside Yuu.

I know Yuu hides the part of him thats still living out of fear. I know Yuu's alot like me yet He's managed to fight and hold onto something dear to Him. I wonder some times what it is you love. What helps you keep walking. Im truly confused and obsessed over Yuu.

I can see it in His eyes and Im guessing they can to because they try so hard to make him smile. I bet they think hes completely lost inside but he's not. Yuu has a light in his eyes. I know when Yuu smiles he is smiling a tur smile wither that smile only thrive on the inside or the outside.

I want to know him. To understand all that he is. But I dont think he would ever let me that close.

This thought made me sit on my bed starring at nothing but fighting myself as tears threatened to free them selves from the broken parts of my mask. My brittle mask, one that yuu saw through so easily I hoped that I would disappear into nothing ness right then but as I heard Lenalee knock on my door from outside reality hit me. It smashed into me so hard another chip of my mask fell to the ground and shattered at my feet, turning into nothing more but dust left there to be carried away by the wind.

If people could understand the way you did I think I would loose everything thats left with in me. I would become nothing. Gone, just like had wished for before the time I met you. You said you could understand my pain but your wrong. I bet your dead wrong. You couldn't begin to realize what the hallow feeling I harbor is like.

I wish you would have stayed the fuck away from my reality. I wish I had never met you because you and only you have caught a glimpse of what monster laid hidden beneath my mask. And as I stood to my feet and opened the dorr to the smiling faces of our friends I watched as yet another piece fell. The more I see them the more it brakes. The more my mask dies leaving me behind.

Most people like Lenalee and Lavi would think I was calling out, searching for sympathy but im not. I hate the Idea of anyone pitying me because all I want is to take what ever horrible fate was bestowed upon anyone else and make it mine. I want the pain and if there was anything I knew to be true before this day was that I was going to hell if not the nothing-ness I believe existed but then you came along.

You who saw through everything. Whos broken every layer of carefully placed together mask. You who im so helplessly in love with.

I love Yuu. And though Were all pawns in some mad mans game I know my fate could never be his. He will never die at his own hand like what I had planned out for me. I know deep down inside my still heart he still has a chance, a chance to fight. Bring himself out of the small hole thats been berried for him. Yuu should grab his chance to lift himself from that hole and be able to smile a true smile. Just like I was forced into doing.

Because as I stand infront of your home, as you walk through that door I smile causing every corner of my mask to shatter and disappear into the darkness around me causing it to fall back behind me. I am just me now. No its not because its valentines day, not because Im with my friends but because of Yuu. The man Ive lost myself to.

I love Yuu. I love him so much. It hurts but I wont stop loving him because I now exist for him. I fight for him and I pray to what ever unknown force is out there that he to, when reading this feels all that I feel because now I want nothing more then to be held in his arms and loved.

Happy Valentines day Yuu,

Sincerely Allen.


	2. I fight for you

**Second chapter. Not that It really matters considering I updated on the same day. XD**

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Kanda starred at the ground letting the letter fall from his finger tips. He could feel his heart beating deep with in his chest. Every movement he made was clumsy. His body trembled and he could hardly stand.

He forced him selves on his feet. He used the wall for support as he entered the kitchen. He saw Allen and his heart skipped a beat. The boy was standing there hardly moving besides from the slow and even cuts he made in the food he was cooking. There was a sad look in the boys eyes and Kanda could feel a small piece of himself call out to the boy.

He just stared at the white haired boys figure. He let his eyes roam the body and he smiled. That beautiful creature hear twas his. His heart slowed and he moved easily across the room. Hesitantly he wrapped his arms around the boys hips and berried his face into the boys hair.

He could feel Allen tense beneath him. He held on stronger to the boy taking in his sweet sent. "Its you. Your what I fight for." He whispered out.

Allens body shook a little and they slid slowly to the ground. Kanda kept his hold on his beansprout and just sat there with the boy. "You werent supposed to read it yet" The boy chocked out.

Kanda smiled. "But I did and Im happy I did because now I have you and Im never going to let you go. I love you...Allen"

Soft sobs fell from the boy and Kanda kissed down the boys neck.

"I love you Allen. And I always will. Forever."

And for the first time Kanda watched as a true smile graced his moyashis lips.

"Forever."

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**It was kinda of a cle-she ending but I wanted it to be cute :3 So tell me how I did, Hehehe go Yullen fans!~**


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